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Ernest Sludge
Yours Truly
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The Corporate Jargon Field Guide: A Leaked Document for the Linguistically Oppressed

· 4 min read
Ernest Sludge
Yours Truly

Another day, another leaked corporate document lands on my desk. This time, it's a field guide that might actually save your sanity—or what's left of it after years of corporate "communication."

Some brave soul in the Department of Linguistic Truth & Workplace Reality has compiled the definitive translation guide for corporate jargon. And frankly, it's about damn time.

Welcome to theSludge.report

· 4 min read
Ernest Sludge
Yours Truly

Congratulations. You’ve found theSludge.report — a publication not yet cancelled by the sprawling, absurd, soul-crushing machinery of institutional ossification.

Here, I document the tragicomedy of these institutions, and the well-meaning "people" inside them slowly being ground into paste by mandatory training.

If you've ever:

  • faced down a litany of inexplicable error messages in the newfangled HR app,
  • watched business development write a check you know you're weekends and sanity will have to cash,
  • or get ping-ponged between one "teammate" after another basically saying "go ask your mom, I'm tired",

...then you, dear reader, have faced the sludge and I'm here to help you laugh about it.