EXCLUSIVE: After months of investigation, I've obtained the actual internal procedure document that governs how projects get initiated (or don't) in corporate America. This is what's really happening behind those "simple" project requests.

Behind every sleek “dashboard” lies a digital oubliette. This is the story of what happens when enterprise software becomes less about insight... and more about surviving long enough to fake one.

The last dollar in my pocket says the founders of Werkday^TM have never used their own product.

How many one-time registration codes can you get in one morning before your brain explodes?

Congratulations. You’ve found theSludge.report — a publication not yet cancelled by the sprawling, absurd, soul-crushing machinery of institutional ossification.

Here, I document the tragicomedy of these institutions, and the well-meaning "people" inside them slowly being ground into paste by mandatory training.

If you've ever:

• faced down a litany of inexplicable error messages in the newfangled HR app,
• watched business development write a check you know you're weekends and sanity will have to cash,
• or get ping-ponged between one "teammate" after another basically saying "go ask your mom, I'm tired",

...then you, dear reader, have faced the sludge and I'm here to help you laugh about it.